It's official. The first of my closest childhood friends is engaged. I called her yesterday to wish her a happy 21st birthday, and she announced glowingly that her boyfriend, now fiance, had come up from LA to surprise her on her birthday and proposed. They're planning a December/January wedding, so she'll have one semester of college as Mrs. Something Else.

It's crazy. It feels like a big marker. Other girls I grew up with have gotten engaged/married, but this is the first of my best friends. But this is one of my best friends. And I think the scariest thing of all is that I'm actually really excited for her. There is no gnawing pit of my stomach wanting to cry out, "No! Don't do it!" I really think she's making the right choice for her and that she will be really happy. It's scary to think that one of my best friends getting married is normal.

I guess I'm in one of those big relationship markers myself, the first live-in boyfriend, but because it's Dave it just doesn't feel that weird or different. Because it's set up as kind of temporary it doesn't stress me out. Living with him works really well.

I've been thinking a lot about Hegel's specific altruism of the family when I think about why I get along so well living with David. I don't stress out with him about certain roommate things the way I have with other roommates, even when said roommates were close friends who I had known for a long period of time. I think even close friends don't always get the specific altruism like family members and romantic partners get. Maybe some people greater than I can afford the energy of this kind of total altruism with everyone they care about, but I've found my self kind of limited in that capacity. It's nice to live with someone I feel totally altruistic towards. It makes cooking and dishes and laundry and sitting around doing nothing a joy.